Tartan Answers

They are quarter-sleeved..Like the one that Brooke White wore when Dolly was helping them on American Idol

Popularity: 2% [?]

Sent to me by a like minded football fan, not bust a gut funny, but a rueful smile:
Jokes that only work in Scotland
>
> A Glasgow woman goes to the dentist & settles down in the chair. “Comfy?” asks the dentist.
> “Govan,” she replies.
>
> What did the Siamese twins from Glasgow call their autobiography? Oor Wullie.
>
> A guy walks into an antiques shop & says: “How much for the set of antlers?”
> “Two hundred quid,” says the bloke behind the counter.
> “That’s affa deer,” says the guy.
>
> Did you hear about the fella who liked eating bricks & cement? He’s awa’ noo.
>
> After announcing he’s getting married, a boy tells his pal he’ll be wearing the kilt. “And what’s the tartan?” asks his mate. “Oh, she’ll be wearing a white dress,” he replies.
>
> What do you call a pigeon that goes to Aviemore for its holidays? A skean dhu.
>
> How many Spanish guys does it take to change a lightbulb? Just Juan.
>
> Aman takes a pair of shoes back to the shop & complains that there is a lace missing.
> “No,” argues the assistant, “look at the label – it says Taiwan .”
>
> What’s the difference between The Rolling Stones & an Aberdeen sheep farmer? The Rolling Stones say: “Hey you, get off of my cloud.” And an Aberdeen sheep farmer says: “Hey McLeod, get off of ma ewe.”
>
> What do you call an illegitimate Scottish insect? A wee fly b*****d.
>
> What about the Scotsman who lost his testicles in a motorcycle accident? The surgeon re-attached them with Bostik.
>
> While being interviewed for a job as a bus driver, a guy is asked: “What would you do if you had a rowdy passenger?”
> “I’d put him off at the next stop,” he says.
> “Good. And what would you do if you couldn’t get the fare?”
> “I’d take the first two weeks in August,” he replies.
>
> Two negatives make a positive but only in Scotland do two positives make a negative – “Aye right.”
>
> A Glasgow man – steaming & skint – is walking down Argyle Street when he spots a guy tinkering with the engine of his car. “What’s up, Jimmy?” he asks. “Piston broke,” he replies. “Aye, same as masel…”

Popularity: 2% [?]

what color shirt should i wear with it??

Popularity: 2% [?]

I guess plaid is a new fad. It is really cute, & it helps that every store sells them. Also, if you wear solid colors a lot, they are a great way to spice up your wardrobe. And between 10- 30 dollars, they are a good investment. It also helps that they have many sizes & colors & lengths available. If people want the latest trend, everyone can have them, you don’t need to be a size 0 to fit.!

Popularity: 2% [?]

Two Young men from Glasgow, Archie & Jock, are sitting in the pub discussing Jock’s forthcoming wedding.
“Ach, it’s all going like magic,” says Jock. “I’ve got everything organised already – the flowers, the church, the cars,
the reception, the rings, the minister, even ma stag night…”
Archie nods approvingly.
“Man, I’ve even bought a kilt to be married in!” continues Jock.
“A kilt?” exclaims Archie. “That’s grand, you’ll look pure smart in that! And what’s the tartan?”
“Oh,” says Jock, “I’d imagine she’ll be in white.”

Popularity: 2% [?]

Like it seems like Plaid/Design shorts are really in this year. What else?
***ALSO DON’T SAY WHY DO YOU CARE IT’S JUST MARCH BECAUSE I LIVE IN SC AT THE BEACH AND IT’S LIKE ALREADY KINDA HOT HERE.

Popularity: 2% [?]

A man who likes watching too much football, beats his wife & kids.
The kids therefore scream for Mummy when Daddy hits them.
He eats the most & is extremely strong, strong enough to bend bars of steel.
He thumps the stairs when he walks & he is so heavy that he caused his wife to roll off the bed due to the displacement.
He forces his children to eat dinner, & they cannot leave the table until they do, even if it means starving to death.
They have to go to bed at 5pm & not get up until 10am.
They have to do all the house work for Daddy, otherwise he will get out his ‘black & decker’ electric drill & drill a hole in their heads if they don’t.
This is in a house with 70’s wall paper, an avocado bathroom & the smell of roast dinner that isn’t cooked very well all the time.
The kitchen utensils smell of chip fat due to not being washed up for so long, & the tray in the oven has to be cleaned with an orbital sander.
They continuously do bodge up DIY jobs & the children have to help or they are sent to bed for a month, & grounded for a year.
Daddy also wears an old fashioned jumper with diamond patterns on them, with tweed trousers & a white tartan type shirt that men in their 50’s usually wear.
He walks around with a crow bar & threatens the kids with it & drink larger all day.
The garden is a tip & you all live on a counsel estate, & the wife is threatening to put her husband on ‘Jerry Springer’ because he beat her until both her arms were broken.
Is that like your Daddy?
CREED

Popularity: 2% [?]

Because the sheep can hear a zipper a mile away.

Popularity: 2% [?]

I really like emo fashion & I usually dress emo but now I go to a school with a uniform. How can I make my uniform look more emo?? We have a light blue plaid skirt & a white blouse & we aren’t allowed to paint our nails. Please help!

Popularity: 2% [?]

Abide with Me
Ally’s Tartan Army
Aussie
Blaydon Races
Blue Is the Colour (Chelsea Football Club song)
Blue Moon
California Sun
Campione 2000
Can You Hear Me
Cant del Barça
Carefree
Carnaval de Paris
Come on England
Come on You Reds
Coup de Boule
Diamond Lights (Glenn & Chris song)
Ee Aye Addio
England
European Song
Famine song
Glad All Over
Glory Glory Leeds United
Glory Glory Man United
Glory Glory Tottenham Hotspur
Go West
Goodnight, Irene
The Greasy Chip Butty Song
Hail to the Redskins
Hey! Baby
Home Newcastle
Hurry Up England
Jonny Hurst
I’m Forever Blowing Bubbles
I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles)
If You’re All Going to Wembley Clap Your Hands
Im Herzen von Europa
The Liquidator
Marching On Together
My Old Man
No One Likes Us – We Don’t Care
OU Chant
Oggy Oggy Oggy
On The Ball, City
Premier League, You’re Havin’ A Laugh
Put ‘Em Under Pressure
Ready to Go
Siquitibum
Song of the Clyde
Stand Up!
Stern des Südens
Steve Bloomer’s Watchin
Sussex by the Sea
Sweet Caroline
Ten German Bombers
The Celtic Song
Three Lions
Tous ensemble
Two World Wars, One World Cup
Vamos vamos Argentina
Vindaloo
We Are England
We Are the Storm
We Have A Dream
We’ll Meet Again
We’re gonna win the league
The Wheelbarrow song
When the Saints Go Marching In in sport
Who Ate All the Pies?
World at Your Feet
World in Motion
You Are My Sunshine
You Gotta Be A Football Hero
You are the pride of Macedonia
You’ll Never Walk Alone
You’re Not Singing Anymore
Zidane y va marquer

Popularity: 2% [?]

ive been to h&m a coupleof times, the clothes that they sell are cheap, & “it” but dont you guys think h&m just a big cheap knock-off from other famous fashions…like last year, they got alot of 90s vintage sport jacket look a likes cos those are popular again…and lots of 60’s ww2 fishtail parka cos those things are back in fashion now…and the skinny fit jeans are like the knock off from levis 511…and the tartan duffle coats from buberry & peacoats…and also why there are so many gay lads working at h&m…its creepy…Gap at least still sell clothes for the nerdy kids but h&m…whatever…

Popularity: 2% [?]

Is anyone else in love with plaids & tartans?
What’s the craziest plaid/tartan item you’ve seen or owned?

Popularity: 2% [?]

I don’t think they’re called kilts, as that seems to be a definite scottish thing. Is there a name for them or are they just skirts?

Popularity: 2% [?]

I looked on online & I looked in stores WHAT DO I PUT IN HIS CARD!!!! I need your help!! I am only a little girl. So I don’t want to be weird. He likes: Music, RC cars, plaid shirts, Cars, I mean he is a dude. Help me! His birthday is in a few days!

Popularity: 2% [?]

i want to put a plaid lining on my roof, back behind the back seats, & the pillars in my car. how much will it cost to have someone do this?

Popularity: 2% [?]

Hi, I found this Charlie Brown dress in the DFO in Essendon VIC but it was one size too small for me. The tag read “Lt. Commander Andrew Charlie” or something like that. It was a thick material with a tartan/plaid pattern in browns & golds, the neck was high & the hemline was slightly asymmetrical, falling just past the knee. Sleeveless. Anyone know where I can find one of these again in sz 12? Sorry, I don’t know which collection it is from. Any info at all would be appreciated. I have contacted Charlie Brown designs but nobody ever replies!! Please help. Thanks.

Popularity: 2% [?]

Ok so my last name is Duffield….I think it’s very uncommon is it? I get it from my great-grandpa who is 1/8 Scottish. [In Scotland Duffield is one of their kilts.] Did you know ever know anyone with this name?

Popularity: 2% [?]

When I was little I received a teddy bear. It’s white & has a blue plaid outfit & a little blue hat. And I would like to find the girl one that goes with it, it has a pink dress on. The tag on the bear I have now says Fairview I’m pretty surethat’ss the brand.

Popularity: 2% [?]

I need to dress up like Albert Einstein for my project but i don’t know how.I don’t want to wear a costume. I wanna make my own. I was thinking of wearing a plaid shirt, & black jeans. Also a wool sweater. I need help with the hair btw. I was thinking off putting my hair on a really messy bun & spray white. Good? It’s due on thursday. Oh & i’m a girl if that helps.

Popularity: 2% [?]

According to the report, Michelle Obama was at a rally & the staff for Barack Obama was asking for more white people during the event….
Why did they want more white people?
Here’s what the article says in short:
The Tartan’s correspondents observed one event coordinator say to another, “Get me more white people, we need more white people.” To an Asian girl sitting in the back row, one coordinator said, “We’re moving you, sorry. It’s going to look so pretty, though.”
“I didn’t know they would say, ‘We need a white person here,’?” said attendee & senior psychology major Shayna Watson, who sat in the crowd behind Mrs. Obama. “I understood they would want a show of diversity, but to pick up people & to reseat them, I didn’t know it would be so outright.”http://www.thetartan.org/20

Popularity: 2% [?]